


Dance the Bear

by JesuslivesinNewMexico



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Blood, Domestic Violence, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Nurse Crawley, Period-Typical Sexism, Romance, World War I
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-05 20:43:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20279536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JesuslivesinNewMexico/pseuds/JesuslivesinNewMexico
Summary: Everyone at Downton Abbey are a bunch of romance novel cliches; Sybil running away with the help, Mary promised to another but in love with her ex whose also promised to another, Edith in an affair with a married farmer. That's just  upstairs! Anna's husband is in jail for killing his divorced wife, Thomas is friendly with the replacement valet, and would Carson and Mrs. Hughes just say what they mean?





	Dance the Bear

**Author's Note:**

> This story will work alongside canon but ive also added new stories and mixed around with the order of canon events.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sybil is home from London with a lot of baggage can she forgive herself?

Sybil was breathless as she spied the Abbey from a distance; Past the rolling hills and trees that border the property. She'd only been gone for the season in her family's London home for her presentation and coming out party, it was only a season but it felt like years. She felt so much older now. The countless balls and soirees made her feel like a princess. She thought she'd never get tired of dancing until everything was spoiled by Lord Grey's son. And now seeing the beautiful stone of her home lifted a weight and a shadow off her heart. Branson pulled the car to the front door where she saw the servants that were left behind to take care of the house in their absence. Tom opened her door and offered his hand to help her out of the car, when her shoe hit the gravel she was finally home. In a hurricane of "Welcome home M'Lady's" and "Glad to have you home M'Lady", Sybil felt suffocated. Until Anna put her hand on the back of her arm pulling her from the eye of the storm and guided her up the stairs to her room with a footman following with her luggage. Upon entering her room she felt lighter and something almost akin to happy. The footman placed her luggage next to her armoire bowing his head as he left.

"I'm so glad we're all back M'Lady, London was quite the adventure but it'll be nice to sleep in my old room again." Anna said smiling and unpacking her trunk. 

"Yes i'm glad we're back as well, a girl can only dance for so long before her shoes give out." Sybil replied in agreement earning a chuckle from Anna. As Anna continued to unpack they agreed on a companionable silence. Sybil walked around her room reacquainting herself with her things, running her fingers over her books and leaflets, eventually making her way over to her desk, she pulls opens one of the side drawers and her eyes spy a shiny piece of fabric. Moving aside her letters and clutter she runs her fingers over the smooth fabric. Pulling out a silken lavender ribbon, she held it loosely in her hand. 

_"I saw it in a store front in Rippon, I know it probably isn't as fancy as your other things, but it made me think of you." The Irish accent spoke. The bound ribbon was placed in her hand._

_"Oh Branson it's such a beautiful colour. Thank you!" The blush on the driver's cheeks was spreading quickly to the rest of his face in response to the radiant smile she gave him. He just tipped his hat and opened the car door for Sybil, lending his hand to help her in._

Anna knocked Sybil from her thoughts with the shut of her trunk, Sybil jumped.

"Sorry m'Lady" she smiled apologetically. 

'It's all right. Anna would you mind doing my braid once more but tieing it with this ribbon?" Sybil asked.

"Of course i'd be happy to."

\------------

Sybil's first dinner back was horrid. Mama would not stop talking to Granny about her suitors and the reception she got on her outfits and all the other girls she had come out with, They chatted away like school girls. Even Mary and Edith went on about something or other to do with their trip to London. 

"Sybil dear, are you doing well? You look as pale as a ghost!" It was Papa that asked, his brow furrowed. Sybil's mental denouncement was paused as everyone at the table stopped gabbing and looked towards her. Feeling suddenly like a vase on display she answered.

"I'm afraid I don't feel very well, would you all please excuse me?"

"Of course darling, Mary would you mind walking your sister to her room? Carson have the kitchen send up some water as well." Mama ordered with a soft voice. Both Mary and Mr. Carson nodded their heads for a reply. The room said their farewells and Sybil and Mary headed out the dining room and up the stairs. Mary was a little twitchy which made Sybil nervous due to the fact she only gets twitchy when she has something to ask but doesn't know how to ask it, and Sybil is pretty sure she knows what. They make it to her door when Mary finally decides to speak.

"When will you tell them Sybil? They have to know at some point, they already know something dreadful happened, they just don't know what."

"And your going to tell them?" Sybil rebuttals with probably more attitude then was truly needed. Mary's face softened.

"Of course not, I wouldn't take that choice from you. But you must see how with everyone knowing it might be better." Mary reasoned.

"Who would that be better for Mary, me or you!?"

"Both of us! I could stop lying to everyone and you need the support." Mary begged.

"I'm doing just fine and i'm not going to be responsible for my parents crying." Mary looked deeply sad for a moment before returning to her stern face. 

"It's not your fault Sybil. Tell them on your own time. Just know that everything gets out at some point whether you hide it well or not. It will hurt them more hearing it from someone else then from you. I love you Sybil don't forget that." Mary concluded her argument before she was missed from the table.

"When did you become so wise and grown up?" Sybil softened.

"That's a long story for another time." The two sisters hugged and Sybil walked into her room as Mary turned and left to rejoin the dining party.

\----------

Coming down the stairs the next morning, Sybil overheard parts of her mother's conversation with Granny and she assumed Mrs. Crawley.

"I knew my baby would make such wonderful impressions." Mama started.

"Oh?" the other two ladies replied.

"Oh yes, it seems Lord Grey's son, Larry Grey, was very keen on her at the parties they attended together." Sybil's heart rate picked up at the mention of Larry's name. She gripped the handrail tightly in her grasp turning her knuckles white, she continued eavesdropping. 

"It says in the letter I received from Lord Grey, they ask if they can join us for dinner on Friday and stay the weekend!" Mama was so excited. Sybil sucked in a huge breath, she supposes she forgot to breathe.

"Is everything alright m'Lady?" Whipping her head towards the voice, she sees Thomas looking concerned for her. She doesn't know if she answered him back or not as she swirled around and raced up the stairs. She doesn't remember making it to her room but she must have since she's currently in her freshly made bed with the covers pulled up to her ears practically hiding. What was she to do!? She wasn't ready to say what happened between Larry and her, this was just another choice he's made for her. She feels suffocated so she throws the covers off and starts pacing her room working herself into a tizzy. Her pace quickens until she stops and decides to changes her shoes she needed to get out of this room of his house! With her boots on, she grabs a light cloak and heads towards her door. She runs downs towards the kitchens and out the back door. She doesn't know where shes going but her feet do, so when her bewildered self ends up outside near the chauffeurs cottage she wasn't truly too shocked. Taking a steadying breath she continued toward the cottage. As she walks up she sees a head peeking out from under the front of the car. Branson must've heard her footsteps so he slides out from the car he was working on and stands to greet her, wiping the grease from his hands with a dirty old rag. He looks to her and smiles until she gets close enough for him to really see her face and his smile is gone.

"Lady Sybil what's wrong, why are you crying?" He asked with a pain laced voice. 

"I'm what?" Sybil reaches for her face and lo and behold her fingers meet the waterfalls on her face. "When did that happen?" she asked in shock. What a mess she must look and in front of Tom no less. Branson came closer, slow like he was approaching a wounded deer. He made it to her and grabbed her hands and lead her to the poorly made chair next to his tool box. Sybil felt so numb she hardly noticed Tom asking her questions.

_"Why are you crying Sybil, one day soon we'll be wed and I'll expect this from you as my wife." Larry laughed. Sybil felt her tears slide down into her hair. She shoved at his chest until he decided it was just _ _simpler to pin her hands above her head. _

_"Get off of me you bastard!" she sobbed and she received a sharp slap to the face. _

_"My Wife is a lady not a sailor."_

"Sybil!" he snapped trying to pull her from whatever cloud her mind is stuck in. She snapped her head towards the man in front of her. "What ever is the matter?" he implored her for an answer to her breakdown. Sybil wasn't sure what to say on one hand she didn't want to tell the truth, she just wanted all this to go away and pretend it never happened. But it did happen and like Mary said the truth would come out eventually, and with Lord Grey and his sons on the way it would in all likelihood come to a head this weekend.

"I-I- I'm not sure." feigning innocence.

"Please Sybil I know something must be wrong for you to breakdown like this so please tell me, trust me." he begged his eyes imploring her to place her burden on him. She could never say no to him, her best friend after all. 

"When I was in London, for my presentation, something terrible happened and Mary is the only one who knows. I thought I could just get over it but I can't. Earlier I overheard my mother talking and she intends to invite over the person who did this horrible thing and I panicked." Sybil's heart constricted over the wait for Tom's next words. Embarrassment and shame evident on her face. Tom got low and gripped her hands with a firm but not painful grip, Sybil latched on just as firmly back. 

"Was this person a man?" he asked slowly, Sybil could only nod in confirmation. "And this terrible horrible thing he did, did he do it to you?" Sybil nodded once again her eyes tearing up at the shame his next question would bring her. "Did he attack you? Was it -Was it rape Sybil?" There was a small sob and a whispered 'yes'. Sybil pulled one of her hands away to cover her face, to protect whatever dignity she had left. Tom let go of her remaining hand and for a second she thought she had repelled him, he saw her as dirty and he couldn't even touch her anymore. But suddenly two strong arms wrap around her and she feels them shake. "Oh God no." she hears Tom whisper. She opens her eyes and pulls Tom away from her so she can see his face. He looked a mess but his eyes were the worst they held fathoms of emotions like anger, pain, and surprisingly love and respect. 

"Tom" she wept, the mess they must've looked. They looked into each others eyes and embraced once more. With that look she didn't feel the shame she did when she first started telling her story she only felt the love of her friend who wished he could have helped her, but he just has by sharing her burden. Who knows how long they were there for but it didn't really matter.

\-------

She didn't come down for dinner that night, she didn't even make an excuse she just laid in her bed holding the lavender ribbon between her fingers and staring at the wall. She was grateful to Tom for pulling her out of her fog and hysteria, but now without his presence she felt numb again.

_"You aren't to blame you know. It's whatever bastard 's fault. Your not ruined." Tom whispered to her as they sat shoulder to shoulder in the back of the car, pinky fingers hooked together._

_"Of course i'm ruined, I can't marry because I lost what gift I was to give my husband only. When Papa finds out he'll hate me for sure"._

_"He could never hate you, especially for a crime committed against you, and any man who would refuse you for this is a fool and not a good man." Sybil put her head on his shoulder._

_"Your too kind to me Tom"._

_"You deserve every kindness this world has to offer."_

A quick knock sounded at her door and someone entered just as quick. 

"Oh Sybil, Mama just told everyone at dinner about our guests! You must tell her now, she'll send them away i'm sure of it. Please!" Mary begged. Sybil hardly acknowledged her sisters words. "Sybil say something please!"

"Say what Mary? How can I tell the whole family of my ruin. What will they think of me, I've been used out of wedlock. I didn't really fight so maybe I'm just a slut." Sybil replied with a blank voice to match her blank expression that Mary couldn't see.

"If anyone is the slut it's me." Mary spoke with a firmness. Sybil snapped her head towards her sisters words.

"What!?" She asked flabbergasted. Mary looked away and down towards the floor.

"Do you remember that Turkish diplomat that stayed here with us all that time ago?"

"Mr. Pamuk?"

"Precisely. The night after the hunt he came to my room alone after I had changed into my night clothes. He stood there and told me how we had a connection and no one would find out, after my weak protests I gave in to lust and we had relations that night."

"Mary, I- I would have never thought you for the passionate type."

"I wasn't and I'm not and to make matters even worse he had a heart complication and died as we were together. In shame and desperation I tried to cover up my mistake and called upon Anna to help me take him back to his room but he was too heavy for just us two. So I called on Mama in the middle of the night she could barely look at me!" Mary cried. "But she helped me and kept my secret from Papa and I don't think she has forgiven me, It will be something we have between us most likely forever." Mary was still looking at the floor even after she finished her story.

"Mary... I'm so sorry this happen to you." Sybil sympathized.

"But you see that's my point, I chose that path. You were forced to do something, and sometimes it's safer not to fight, but not fighting still isn't consent." Those words hit Sybil like a falling piano. She was right as was Tom, she may still be ruined but she definitely hadn't wanted to be so, especially with Larry.

"Your right." Mary huffed a smile.

"Aren't I always?" Sybil laughed and shook her head no. Sybil got serious again making Mary fall suit.

"Hey, your not a slut either."

"I'm not sure if your right but thank you anyway."


End file.
